pathetic for you...happiness for me

this is refering entry sebelum ni.

somehow my life tak sama macam orang lain. not just me. orang lain punya life pon tak sama macam life orang-orang lain. this is part of my life. which somehow Allah bless me with this experience. Macam few of my good friends tau. My first guy in my live who also called as Ayah, pass away when i'm 13 and my youngest brother baru 3 bulan. i gain this experience.

Baru 13 tahun den da kono menuntut masak memasak ngan abang den (beliau tukang masak dolu-dolu). Best part paling ingat siap da tak tau nak masak ape asik dok masak kicap, sambal suma tang simple bagai then wa kol omak den, kak milah kat opis "ibu, nak masak pe ni...ade sotong, bawang, blablabla...boring la masak same je tapi tak reti masak lain." and here comes the tutorial by phone. "ha...masak kari sotong...cani, siang sotong cam besa pastu blablabla..." and bermulalah lepastu pape pon tutorial bagai kol je omak den.

Being a single mom memang tak easy beb...jonoh la den nengok kak milah OT ja. dapek plak anak pemalas bobal cam den an. balik tebongkang dulu. agak-agak time omak den nak balik kojo tu alarm bunyik laju  lari memberabas bugas *senior den ajar ayat ni. joy part is...menjago adik-adik yang kocik kenot nih mizi baru darjah 1, mimi 4 taun n aieril 3 bulan...well, i do love kiddo. tapi den ni memang kengkadang kurang tahap kesabaran. Thank god i have my abang beside me. Great abang of mine. Abang Ijal. tapi dio garang wooo...garang macam bapak den. sebab? sekali dio joling yo den da gigil...haaa...penangannnn kegarangan beliau.

as said earlier, entry ni berkaitan dengan enrty sebelumni. pasal sorang budak bernama Hanna claim nak been paid for all the chores that she done padahal kemas pinggan mangkuk sendiri, bilik sendiri. berlainan dengan aku yang settlekan suma dulu. and bila aku sambung study menurun pada adik lelaki den...ulang adik lelaki...haha. he take over the responsibility tapi tak tau la banyak mano sobab adik-adik yang lain pon ado da masuk skolah and den da dok uitm. but dunno why tak terpikir plak den nak mintak gaji ek...haha...mau kono taji ngan omak den nak bergaji. 

Big Love

ok here it is... kalau ikut hati budak umur 13 tahun den time tuh opkos sifat pemberontakan muda remaja itu ado. look at the bright side bebeh...Allah bless me with those kiddo. adik-adik den yang dogil nak mampuih ni la nyawo den. yang den dok carot tu la kesayangan den. yang den dok sosah bilo marah la hati den. and i know...even now when i look at all happiness dari memember yang da get married and have kids, Allah let me have that feel when i'm 13. so even i can't feel those like having mine now, that experience i would like to call as joy, bless and love. 

u call it pathetic friend, if u were in that moment maybe. but not me. we have way too different life, family and love. we've been raised differently. our thought might differ from others. and i rather call them...those kiddos yang dah membesar and in fact give me niece as BIG LOVE of mine.